War of Words

I am a very verbal person, always have been, probably always will be. I love communicating thoughts and ideas on a variety of topics. I am also a person who does not like to be thought ill of. So this can be a difficult combination at times :) I feel like Elizabeth Bennett when she says to her sister, Jane, "I cannot bear to think that he is alive in the world and thinking ill of me." She says this in regards to Mr. Darcy, but I think I feel like that about almost everyone. I have never liked knowing that someone feels any sort of negative emotions towards or about me. There are exceptions to this--usually the opinions of a stranger or someone I don't know very well--their words don't have the same effect on me, or at least the effect doesn't last as long. There are also times when I feel extremely comfortable with my viewpoint and very confident in the fact that I have not acted maliciously. I usually have these feelings in regards to my religion and moral values. It is easy for me to find truth in these things, so I don't sweat people's opposing views or verbal attacks even. But when I don't know exactly what's true and I'm trying to find out, I'm a little more vulnerable. Knowing something is right and true for me comes from researching and reading, yes, but more so from my feelings and experiences. Science and politics are every-changing and I don't have a grasp on all of it. But I try to understand and be open. I question everything, even if something comes from an expert. (Didn't experts tell us margarine was SO much better than butter back in the 90s??) :) It's not because I'm selfish, naive, or ignorant. I research and make my own decisions trying to be caring, educated, and informed. And when I come to a different conclusion than others, I have such a hard time when people cannot or will not try and understand me. I think it is a basic need as human beings to be understood. I truly believe that this is why there are so many angry, bitter, and depressed people in the world right now. Social media has become a battleground in many ways, with hardly anyone seeking to understand. People just draw their swords and put up their shields before even asking why people are there to defend in the first place. Even people I know who are good people, who are kind and intelligent, refuse to see an opposing view as just as valid or important. Differing views are seen as "less than" and the people who hold them as stupid, selfish, and apathetic. I have seen this on both sides of any controversial issue and it just saddens me. We talk about unifying our country, about "getting through this together", but I see so much division happening because no one stops to ask questions--to understand another person. They believe and see only what fits into their already formed narratives (again, this happens on both sides of the isle). And I think what is really behind all of this is FEAR. Fear that what we want to hold to so tightly might not be true after all and that will somehow make us weak and invaluable. Fear that people who share our political or religious views will turn on us if we say something even slightly contrary. Fear that we cannot control everyone and everything around us and that means we have failed in some way. And as I write this, I know that because I have a hard time with others' opinions of me, I am afraid. Afraid of being seen as mean or unintelligent. I know others' words and opinions can't hurt me until I think they might be true, but having confidence in myself is sometimes illusive. But one thing I have learned about confidence is that it's not about thinking you're right all the time and never backing down, it's about being WILLING to be wrong and loving yourself anyway. Being wrong doesn't make you weak or unworthy. We are all human beings trying to navigate this crazy world with all its difficulties and uncertainties. We are on a verbal battlefield sometimes; a war of words, and it can be ugly. But fear cannot be our constant driver. Not if we want to unify our families, communities, and ultimately our nation. So what can I do? What can we do? There is no easy answer but I know that for me, my continuing work right now is to feel love and confidence in the midst of verbal opposition. It's to have positive thoughts about myself, good experiences with my family and friends, serve in my community, and draw closer to God through prayer. I know that much good is happening everywhere and that trials bring out some of the best qualities humans are capable of. It's amazing to see and I'm truly grateful for people who put love and peace before hatred and fear. That is the example I am striving to follow.