The First Time Around

I am the kind of person who likes things to be going well all the time, as if sadness or frustration were somehow a sign of failure or weakness. But I have come to learn these past few months especially that being in a state of contentment all the time and being perfect at things right away isn't really the point. We learn that "perfection" is to eventually be achieved, but I think some of us want to do everything right, right away. We forget that becoming perfect is a process. And sometimes the process hurts. It's frustrating and disappointing; it will expose our weaknesses and shortcomings; it will require us to push forward through guilt and hurt without being vindicated. This is a hard process, but nonetheless it is in all of this turmoil and chaos that perfection is achieved, if we realize the best that we can do is to never give up hope, never lose hope in our Savior, that He can carry us from day to day and even moment to moment. We can overcome tribulation and grow as people with Christ as our leader and example. I remember in China hearing a quote that was really interesting and it has stuck with me. Living in China was one of the best things I've ever done and I grew so much more in that 6 months than I feel like I have over periods of years. Oddly though, it was a time when I felt weak and like I was taking steps back. So a friend said to me this, "The more perfect you become, the more imperfect you think you are." I really hope this is true. I think it is because to become perfect we need to be refined--have all the impurities (or weaknesses) exposed and removed. So if we are seeing lots of weaknesses in ourselves, that just means we are that much closer to being refined and pure, like our Savior. And of course it is through Him that this refinement can happen, if we chose to accept His perfect Atonement.

Ether 12:27 "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."