The First Time Around

I am the kind of person who likes things to be going well all the time, as if sadness or frustration were somehow a sign of failure or weakness. But I have come to learn these past few months especially that being in a state of contentment all the time and being perfect at things right away isn't really the point. We learn that "perfection" is to eventually be achieved, but I think some of us want to do everything right, right away. We forget that becoming perfect is a process. And sometimes the process hurts. It's frustrating and disappointing; it will expose our weaknesses and shortcomings; it will require us to push forward through guilt and hurt without being vindicated. This is a hard process, but nonetheless it is in all of this turmoil and chaos that perfection is achieved, if we realize the best that we can do is to never give up hope, never lose hope in our Savior, that He can carry us from day to day and even moment to moment. We can overcome tribulation and grow as people with Christ as our leader and example. I remember in China hearing a quote that was really interesting and it has stuck with me. Living in China was one of the best things I've ever done and I grew so much more in that 6 months than I feel like I have over periods of years. Oddly though, it was a time when I felt weak and like I was taking steps back. So a friend said to me this, "The more perfect you become, the more imperfect you think you are." I really hope this is true. I think it is because to become perfect we need to be refined--have all the impurities (or weaknesses) exposed and removed. So if we are seeing lots of weaknesses in ourselves, that just means we are that much closer to being refined and pure, like our Savior. And of course it is through Him that this refinement can happen, if we chose to accept His perfect Atonement.

Ether 12:27 "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

Hope of Goodness

"Stretching our souls in service helps us to rise above our cares, concerns, and challenges. The truth is that our only safety, our only security, our only hope is to hold fast to that which is good." --Elder David S. Baxter

There are good people in this world!! I see examples all the time, but today I was very thankful for a man in Barnes and Noble who helped me as I was struggling with my over-sized stroller. He noticed I was having trouble pushing it and he simply smiled and picked it up so it went over the obstacle. It was a small thing, but to me, it relieved a small burden for a moment.

Another instance that touched me happened in downtown Chicago. I was walking down Michigan Avenue and in front of me there was a woman who looked in very bad shape. She was in a wheelchair and was holding a cup. It is sometimes easy to dismiss these people as they are not uncommon in the city, and I often struggle with what to do when I pass them. But there was in front of me, a kind person who stopped to talk to this woman. She smiled as she gave her a sandwich from Subway and even slipped some extra money into this woman's hand. She said "Good to see you!" as she walked away, which made me think she has befriended this person or at least seen her before. I was touched and left feeling that I need to do more to serve those around me. Seeing these things gives me hope that there will always be those who are selfless and that we need to look for that in the midst of all the selfishness we see.

The Best Things in Life...

are free! Yes, but that's not what I was going to say :) What exactly are the best things in life? I wanted to write down some of the things I find absolutely great about this life. Some are of eternal value, some of temporal significance and some are of both. I think it's beneficial for me, the "worrier" to reflect on what some of the greatest things about life are instead of having a "doom and gloom" attitude about what goes on around me in the world. I know that one of the greatest challenges in this life is to be "in the world, but not of the world". It doesn't mean we can't emjoy the things of earth, but we must rise above the flow of changing moral values and a the consistent confusion of good versus evil. Part of doing that is recognizing the Lord's hand in our lives and the blessings He has given to us. So here are my best things in life:

A genuinely good-hearted husband
Children who teach me
A warm and safe home
The scriptures
General Conference
Hot showers
Smoothies
Ice-cold water
People who care about you and show it
Dinners people give you after you've had a baby (we've got some awesome cooks in our ward I just have to say) :)
Watching a good, funny, romantic movie
Summer nights, with a little bit of a warm breeze
Green grass
Thunderstorms
Les Miserables
The Chronicles of Narnia series
Bike rides
Roller-blading
Frozen yogurt (with Reeses Peanut Butter Cups!)
Subs (the sandwich kind)
Hot Chocolate
Pianos
Musicals in general (besides Les Mis, which is my all-time favorite, I love The Music Man, Phantom, Blood Brothers, Ragtime).
Andrea Bocelli
Sarah Brightman
Mana
Okay, so I could on and on with the music stuff..... :)
Going to church
Seeing old friends
Seeing new friends
Going out to eat
Massages
Free days at the Chicago Museums
Lake Michigan

Well I think I could go on and on, but that was a fun reminder about all the great stuff about this life! And to quote my wonderful friend, Beeks, who is an amazing example of positivity and optimism, "I LOVE LIFE!" :)

Giving Everything

I heard a song the other day and I don't know what the title is, but a question in the chorus of the song really struck me: " I don't want to spend my whole life asking, "What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?" It just made me think about what life is really about and WHY I do the things I do. Do I just monotonously go through my same routine everyday because I've never known anything else? And then when trials come, I say, "Well it must all be for nothing anyway." Or do I truly give everything in being a wife, a mother, a woman of God, because that's what I KNOW Heavenly Father wants me to do, even in the midst of hard times? I think we all come to a point (or several points) in our lives where we question ourselves and what the point is of doing what we do and believing in what we believe in. But I choose, when I find my faith wavering, to go with what works. What really makes me happy? I try to remember those experiences I've had when I know that the Spirit has comforted me or borne witness of truth. I so easily forget. But I know that true peace and joy are found in living (truly living) the plan of happiness that Heavenly Father has for all of His children. I struggle with turning my will over to His sometimes, because I am afraid of not being able to handle what is ahead. And I know I don't give everything I have all the time because of impatience and distraction and again, fear. But I know that I don't want to look back on my life and ask myself, "What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?" I must have faith that there are marvelous things prepared for those who do give their all for His sake and I must keep trying! The following scripture gives me a lot of comfort:

"But as it is written, eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." 1 Cor. 2:9

Giving everything is hard, especially when life is hard! But I as my wonderful friend, Marilyn, said to me on Sunday, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philip. 4:13 I know all of us can do this!

The Love of Our Heavenly Father and Savior

What do we have hope in if not a Supreme Being who has overcome all evil and who loves us unconditionally; sees our needs, answers our prayers, and heals us with His Spirit? What would be left to have hope in? When all seems dark around us, we must believe that there is someone out there who knows all and who will bring mercy to those who suffer, and justice to those who would willingly inflict suffering. If there is no Heavenly Father, then those who do wickedly would never have to suffer as they make those around them to do so. And those who are righteous would have no hope of blessings or a reward for their patience, kindness, and forgiveness. There would be no purpose in any of what we do. We must believe there is purpose and that there is a God over all people and things! If not, how truly hopeless our situation would be! And if we choose to believe that there is a God, we must take the time to find out His character through study of the scriptures, prayer, and personal experiences; or perhaps, the experiences of others if we find our desire waning. We must be believing and unshaken in our hope that there is a God who loves us, even if all around us should fail. I love these words from Paul:

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?....Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." --Romans 8: 35, 37-39

A beautiful hymn also comes to mind:

"Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone.
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed, we shall meet at last.

Choose to Hope

Why I still choose to hope.....

I have seen many people, despite trials and suffering, who still hope and who still trust that God cares for them and loves them. They continue strong and unwavering in their faith despite....

watching a child battle cancer and lose.
watching a child battle cancer and win.
battling cancer themselves.
being abandoned by a husband.
the deaths of 3 family members in one month
having to bury a baby who was 20 weeks premature.
having been addicted to drugs and alcohol.
having to take care of a husband for years while he suffered and eventually died.
being in a wheel chair and doctors cannot diagnose the condition.
losing a job and not finding one again for 6 months.
having to bring children to church every Sunday alone.
struggling with diabetes.
being away from church for 20 years.
the divorce of parents after 25 years.
struggling with an eating disorder.
having a severely handicapped child who will never talk or walk.
having been through a divorce which was no fault of their own.
being abused by a spouse.
being single and pregnant.
having a spouse with a severe mental illness.
having children who choose unhappy paths.
the early death of a spouse.

So our circumstances do not have to control our faith. We can have the faith and hope to control our attitudes in spite of our circumstances. And I choose to look at those who are faithful regardless of what they must go through in this life. Oddly, or rather, not, they are some of the happiest people I know.

Political Two Cents

I don't pretend to be well-educated in the area of politics, but as of late, I have read a great deal about this nation's history and the purpose of it's establishment and government. I firmly believe our founding fathers were inspired by our Heavenly Father to create such an unprecedented way of governing. He has blessed this nation with unique freedoms and circumstances as no other nation has been. But where is our country headed? Can we not see the connection between the moral decay of our country and the increased "intolerance" for the belief in a right and a wrong? If nothing is "wrong", and everything is right because someone desires it, we only find ourselves with more "rights" and no responsibilities, and no virtue. Lately I have seen that our country's own government is only facilitating this idea of "entitlement" without responsibility and without virtue!

“Nowadays, the purpose of government is not so much to secure our natural rights as to provide us new rights, to bestow on us social and economic and other kinds of entitlements – the list goes on and on, and it's still being added to.” --Charles Kesler
"Big Government is intrusive and not liberating…Big Government constrains you for the sake of equality so that your freedom is no greater than anyone else's. It also constrains you for your own comfort and security. Its constant tendency to control and equalize the conditions of life leads it to attempt to diminish the risks of life by which inequalities of fortune, and even of merit, occur. In diminishing your risks Big Government diminishes your virtue, because it (THE GOVERNMENT) assumes responsibility for making things come out well for you despite YOUR errors or, what is more and more likely, your INACTION." --Harvey Mansfield

Is more government the answer to the constant pleas for more rights and seemingly less tolerance for faith and moral values?