One True Source of Peace

"Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace when other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice, I draw myself apart, searching my soul?
Where, when my aching grows, where, when I languish, where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish? Who, who can understand? He, only one.
He answers privately, reaches my reaching in my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace He finds for my beseeching. Constant He is and kind, love without end."

The Savior's Yoke

I recently read a very thought-provoking book called "The Peacegiver" by James Ferrell. It was about the Atonement, but not strictly in an informative sense. It addressed the subject in such an illuminating way that I felt my view of this miraculous act was forever changed. Maybe not "changed" necessarily, but deepened so much as to make my perspective on life different. I thought about how many times I try and do things by myself believing that I am weak if I have to ask for help so readily. And I thought about how easy it is to succumb to pride in terms of it's true meaning: comparison. How easily I base my reactions off of others' actions; putting myself in the victim mode too often and thinking that righteousness is a relative term--that somehow if I'm doing "more" then I shouldn't have to be the one to humble myself or apologize first. This book really opened my eyes to see how the Savior suffered for each one of us individually and that our happiness is separate from what others do around us. And what we choose to do in life should only be based on our relationship with the Savior, never being provoked or justified by another's actions. Many times we see others acting in certain ways or saying certain things and we feel it justifies us in acting in a way we otherwise wouldn't. Or we're allowed to feel more righteous than them because they are "sinning" worse than we are. How are we to make that judgment or assumption? To quote from the book (the author is bringing out a parallel to our lives through the story of Jonah):

"You see, Ricky, relative righteousness means nothing. Whether Jonah was better or worse than Nineveh isn't the question at all.... Some laborers work longer, the Savior told us in one of his parables, and others shorter. Each person's payment at the end of the day has nothing whatsoever to do with the work of others. We are each working out our own salvation with fear and trembling before the Lord. And that gift will come to us only if we know in our hearts that we deserve it no more than anyone else.... The truth is, we are all, each of us, equally damned without the mercy of the Lord. Eternal life is a gift. I have no cause to feel entitled. I have cause only to feel grateful."

I feel very humbled by this and immensely unworthy, yet grateful, for what the Savior has done for us, all of us individually. I have come to understand that the Atonement means so much more than "suffering for us". It seems like we use that phrase so casually because, well, who of us can possibly comprehend what was actually done in the garden of Gethsemane? But I know that the Atonement is real and that because of it I am free from the powers of darkness and temptation, if I choose. And why not choose Christ? What happier alternative would there be? I don't have to be in the power of Satan or succumb to weakness! Christ has done that for me already, and He faced what none of us will ever have to. So we should come unto Him every day of our lives. One final quote, Christ suffered an "indescribable anguish and overpowering torture, a supreme contest with the power of evil, an hour of anguish when Christ had to meet and overcome all the horrors that Satan could inflict. And he suffers all this.... for us.... the addict, the abuser, the chronic complainer, those whose spirits are depressed. His struggle tonight is for all mankind, but only because it was for each of us, individually and specifically.... If we harden not our hearts and stiffen not our necks against him, he will facilitate the breaking of our sinful, stony hearts and will give us what Ezekiel called his new 'heart of flesh', saving us from all our uncleannesses. This is the miracle of Gethsemane."

Never Give Up Hope

"Hope sustains us through despair. Hope teaches that there is reason to rejoice even when all seems dark around us."

I have given up hope before. I have thought that God must not care about His children, must not love them enough to prevent the trials and horrors that come to many, even the innocent. I have thought maybe the suffering that I see is an indication of God wanting us to suffer and to live in darkness and despair for a punishment. But I have learned that seeing things in this way only gives way to more darkness, confusion, and despair. And I have to ask myself, "Am I happier for giving in to such a conclusion?" No. So I will choose to have hope that God loves me and will care for me in spite of so much suffering. He knew that trials of every kind, evil and unspeakable injustices and horrors would be among us. And this because the devil would have power over the hearts of many, and God would allow us all to have our agency. Is this unloving or unfair? No, God in His infinite mercy has provided a way for an escape from this! That He has indeed sent His Son for this very reason! Why should we let our hope fail us because of our circumstances in life? We are not the better off for despairing and giving into bitterness and blame. Life is hard and will continue to be so, but why should we make it harder by turning away from the only thing that can give us comfort and peace? We may put up walls of pride and anger, we may victimize ourselves and justify our misery. But where will this take us in the end?

"And to all who suffer--to all who feel discouraged, worried, or lonely--I say with love and deep concern for you, never give in. Never surrender. Never allow despair to overcome your spirit. Embrace and rely upon the Hope of Israel, for the love of the Son of God pierces all darkness, softens all sorrow, and gladdens every heart. "

Divinity of Marriage

In light of the recent situation in California, I wanted to post this article, which I feel expresses my views in a nutshell. I am grateful we have truth to hold onto in this world and a loving Heavenly Father who is over all things. We are indeed blessed!!

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Perspectives/Default.aspx?id=323704

This second article I posted is an article put out by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on the divine institution of marriage, and I thought it was good to share.

http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/the-divine-institution-of-marriage

Rejoice, do not slacken

Well I guess it has been a long time since I have thought deeply about anything, since I haven't posted for a few months! :) Not really, deep thinking happens everyday (well maybe every other day) :) but then there is the issue of time and tiredness. I was thinking the other day how much more I could do if I didn't ever get tired! I'll have to wait for the eternities for that I suppose. But I believe earthly constraints are only tests of our ability to make the best of frustrating situations and of our convictions to do what is really important in this life. It is very easy to get discouraged when things do not go our way, even the little things in the day that go wrong can be seemingly huge obstacles to our daily happiness... that sounds extreme doesn' t it? But it's true, at least for me. I think we have become very spoiled in our modernity. Conveniences that have come to us because of colossally fast-growing technology and we think, "How did we survive without this before?" i.e. cell phones and credit cards slots at the gas station. I sat in my car today and thought, "Wow, a few years ago, I would've had to WALK INSIDE and pay! Heaven forbid. (Just a side note, I only paid $60 to fill up our van!!!!! This was very exciting.) I know that these conveniences are a blessing in a way, but I also think they can be a curse. Life is supposed to be hard right? But we are also placed on this earth to have joy... is that a paradox? The only conclusion I can come to is that we must be able to find joy even when life is hard. Life should not be something we get through and we shouldn't use afflictions as an excuse to slacken our strength. I love this quote by Nephi:

26 "O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?

28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.

29 Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.
(2 Nephi 4: 26-29) click to hear a really beautiful song.

Well I don't know about you, but this scripture definitely inspires me. Even a prophet of God "droops" once in awhile, but he did let this deter him from being the kind of person he wanted to be, and that Heavenly Father wanted him to be! That is the key I think. I am definitely not suggesting that all our trials come from mere frustrations when things don't go our way. I know that many trials come from severe hurt and physical or emotional suffering. But I believe that the principle illustrated in this scripture holds true for any kind of difficult situation.We all have times when we feel like we just can't do it anymore, but if we have too many days of slackening our strength and seeing life as a burden more than a treasure, that is when we lose joy. I definitely believe it takes a DAILY recommitment to our purpose in this life. And having the Gospel really really helps. It gives us so much to draw from. How much we have to be thankful for in this life!

Children

The past week or so has been a difficult one for me in terms of keeping contentment and peace in our home. This is partly due to kids acting up.... but also partly due to me not handling situations in quite the way that I anticipated myself doing so before I had children.... ;) Sometimes children can be very hard to deal with and I have found that I am not at all adequate to think I know what is best for them. I have to had to pray many times and put forth lots of self control to be patient. It has not always worked, but I know that we must keep trying everyday to the best we can. And Heavenly Father knows our efforts. I know that having children is part of His plan for us. They are special spirits and they depend on us for direction, love, and setting boundaries. This is a very difficult mix of things and the recipe for the amounts of each is different for every situation. And taking a parenting class in college somehow doesn't equate.... :) Anyway, life is a constant challenge as a parent, seeing weaknesses in yourself, trying everyday to do better; experimenting with everything if something doesn't work (and then of course what works for one child never works for the other) :) But this is Heavenly Father's plan for us FOR A REASON! He knows our children better than we do. He knows what it's like to have hard children and He will give us the strength to keep trying. We can make it!! :)

Here are some good quotes I found about children:


All children behave as well as they are treated.

Kids spell love T-I-M-E.

Praise your children openly, reprehend them secretly.

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.

Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can't poke enough holes to drain it dry.

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.

To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.

If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.

Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.

Your children need your presence more than your presents.

"It is our solemn duty, our precious privilege—even our sacred opportunity—to welcome to our homes and to our hearts the children who grace our lives. They should not be seen as burdens or stumbling blocks to our own happiness, but pathways to it! Let there be love at home. Let there be tenderness and teaching and caring for and not a shifting of responsibility onto others. God grant that we may never be too busy to do the things that matter most."

Earth

Yesterday we went to the Morton Arboretum. How incredibly beautiful that place is!! The people who work on that are so gifted. I'm so thankful for the beauties of this world. This earth really is one of the most amazing gifts. It is miraculous in so many ways. "...all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator."

How true!